


We Could Feel The Sky

by ListeningGarden



Category: Love Live! School Idol Festival (Video Game), Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Better Bed Than Bread, But you can still taste it, F/F, Feels, Like, Mild Angst???, Umi might be quietly pining somewhere, really mild, slightly fluffy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-19 10:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9436886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ListeningGarden/pseuds/ListeningGarden
Summary: Kotori gets lost in thought over her best friend as she works on the new costumes for µ's next concert. How long can she keep her head in the clouds before her wings give out?Spoilers for Season 1 Episodes 9, 11, 12 & 13, if you're a recent convert.





	1. Chapter 1

Kotori sat by herself in the Idol Research Club room, sketchbook and materials sprawled out on the table beside her. A light breeze stirred the delicate fabrics she'd brought in from home. It was a nice change of pace from the usual hectic meetings the group held together. Had Nico been here, that window would have been nailed shut the instant Kotori reached over to open it. So protective was she of her precious collection of Idol DVDs and merchandise that the mere thought of contaminated, unconditioned air touching the plastic dust jacket of even the most common releases seemed to cause the temperamental third-year physical pain - to say nothing of the rare, single-run box sets. Luckily, Nico had some top secret 'research' to attend to, which meant that Kotori was free to bring a part of the outside into the room with her this afternoon. There was something refreshing about the wind that set her at ease, freeing her mind of worry. Some of her best costumes were designed while sitting under a tree or on a bench in a park.

What a beautiful day it was, too. Skies were as clear as the vision she had for this new costume she was designing for their upcoming concert. Umi and Maki were hard at work trying to write their next single to perform, and Kotori found herself inspired by their tireless efforts. Pencil scraped against the rough, cold-press paper. She loved the added texture it gave her sketches, making the designs appear more physical and worn. Such attention to detail is what made her so talented - or so her mother would boast. Each costume had to strike a fine balance between innocent and seductive, so she paired broad cuts of textiles and colorful palettes with frills, ribbons, and other fine details. Showing a little skin was fun too, if only to see the look on Umi's face when she showed off the finalized designs to the girls.

But…there was one girl in particular whose skin she took joy in seeing surrounded by her intricate layers of cloth. She was Kotori's first and best friend, one who had stuck by her side even as she grew wings of her own and people magnetized to her. A name that rolled off her tongue so naturally, she found it as musical and energetic as the girl herself: Honoka. As she laid out the linework for this new outfit, Kotori imagined how well this gap between the stocking and skirt would look with Honoka's slender leg muscles. Thinking about it made her pause for a moment, nibbling lightly on the side of her Tombow Irojiten colored pencil to distract herself. Kotori considers herself lucky that her mom isn't very strict with her, turning a blind eye towards the more risqué designs. Nico frequently reminded everyone that part of the appeal of school idols to outsiders and fans alike _is_ in the imagery. Both aesthetics and attractiveness count in equal measure. Kotori felt comfortable making designs more applicable to seasonal fashion trends, but thought the extravagance of µ's uniforms was a fun challenge. Way more fun to picture Honoka wearing lace garter instead of spring jackets, too.

She bit down a little harder on the pencil nestled between her teeth. Moving her thoughts away from her best friend was _so_ difficult, some days. It wasn't until about a year and a half ago that she really understood her feelings for Honoka, and looking back, she had probably stuffed that desire away years before. Was it as far back as when they first met? You can't fall in love at such a young age, right? It was only towards the start of her high school career that she found herself adrift at the mere thought of the unstoppable Honoka. Kotori saw herself as more of a supporting dancer in their friendship. Even Umi, as timid and quiet as she could be, had more standout qualities. She would at least _attempt_ to tell Honoka "No". Probably the only person on the planet who could.

Umi was the tempered pillar of strength between the three of them. Honoka was optimistic to a fault, with boundless energy that she would use to drag her two friends into whatever her new plan was. Kotori even suspected that Umi played shy to hide her own feelings for Honoka. Umi put up with Honoka's plans way more than a girl of such chivalrous nature would, no doubt a benefit exclusive to their friendship. Maybe she was just imagining things, but... if Nozomi ever teased her, there was a different look in her eyes than if Honoka were to do something similar. And her lyrical ability? For a girl who claims to have never had a romantic thought in her life, let alone an interest in anyone like _that_ , her words were so vivid and yearning. It spoke to the pining hearts of their fans in a way that only someone truly tapped into their own heart could manage.

Umi and Honoka couldn't possibly be greater opposites. Umi, ever-studious and unyielding. Honoka, carefree and unchained. And… opposites attract, right? If there was anyone at all that Kotori could imagine being buried deep within Umi's heart, heavily guarded behind a small cavalry of archers, it had to be Honoka. Though, the thought of Umi ever gathering the courage to admit such a thing to their childhood friend felt too surreal to be possible. Even the tiniest _hint_ of romantic entanglement could cause Umi to retract like a turtle hiding in its shell. Stubborn to the very last, but hardly a better friend to have. How could she even think of stealing away the object of Umi's affection?

...quite easily, it seemed.

Kotori set her sketchbook down and made her way over to the window, leaning on the club's bulky computer tower for support.

"The truth is..."

 

* * *

 

"...the truth is _what_ , Kotori?" Umi asked, steeled for whatever her friend had to say. She overlooked the family yard, it's serenity soothing the tension Umi felt in her stomach. Umi had just gotten off the phone with Honoka moments ago, asking if she'd noticed Kotori acting strange lately. Kotori's ears must have been burning.

"I..." She took a deep breath, exhaling nervously. "I've been offered a chance to study abroad."

"You're leaving Japan?" Umi cut right to the root of the problem, stabbing Kotori in the heart along the way.

"I don't want to. But, fashion isn't just a hobby, you know? This is something I have to do for my future!" Kotori's face melted into a frown. She'd been unable to say it for weeks, the weight of the situation crushing her all over again. Umi remained silent against the sheets of rain surrounding her. Kotori begged for Umi to say anything. Even if it was to call her an idiot.

"And I'm the first person you've told?"

"Yes."

"Not even Honoka?" Arrow on target, as always. Kotori felt her tears building up.

"She kept interrupting me," Kotori paused, choosing her next words carefully. "She's my… _our_ best friend. If there was anyone I wanted to tell, it's Honoka."

"So, why haven't you? You can't keep this a secret from her forever."

"Why not?" She kept her love of the girl hidden away all this time. Secrets don't have to be said aloud, right? That's how they work.

"Kotori!" Umi barked. Kotori's stomach churned, her blood turning into pins and needles that tore away at her from the inside as she fought the urge to scream in confession at the unsuspecting miss Sonoda.

"I know… but, now isn't the right time." Her next exhale was labored, dense with nervous energy.

"How much time do you have, Kotori? Can you afford to waste it?"

"The application deadline is in two days... All mom has to do is make the call. I'd have a few weeks left after that." Kotori glanced around her room, clothes stuffed into some shipping boxes. Her mind was already made up. Facing everyone to tell them was the hard part, especially having to look her best friend in the eye and inform her that their future together was going to be cut short a few years early. She longed to feel her fingers interlock with Honoka's… to hold on tight, and not let the winds of change whisk her away from the girl she'd foolishly fallen in love with.

"You must be honest with everyone, especially Honoka. This can't keep waiting." Umi's voice bordered between judgement and concern.

"You're right," Kotori trailed off. "Soon."

In the back of Kotori's mind, the word _soon_ taunted her. Would she be able to blurt it all out before her time in this place she's called home for as long as she can remember ran out? Or would she board that plane, lips sealed as tightly as the airlocks, taking her admission of love across vast oceans and strange countries with her?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kotori's poker face is almost as bad as Umi's. Almost!

**BZZZZZT**

Kotori's phone vibrated to life on the table behind her. She shook the haze of her daydream away and looked at the screen, chirping to herself as tapped the LINE notification.

"Heyyyy~" Started the word bubble, Nozomi's Tanuki icon flashing a cunning smile beside it. "How goes the sketching? Is the peace and quiet helping any??" Kotori smiled. Nozomi always had the delicate touch of a mother figure... except when she felt like giving someone a little 'washi washi'.

"It's going great! (＾8＾) I'll let you know when you can come by to see it, okay? I'll be in the club room for a little longer, it should be ready for a sneak preview." Sending the message, Kotori slid her phone back onto the table and took her seat by the sketchbook again.

 _Soon_ , as it so happened, came much too quickly for Kotori. She promised Umi that she would tell the girls after the big concert they had planned for the school's recruitment drive. It was a secret the both of them had to hold in the back of their throats as they sung their hearts out in the pouring rain. Had Honoka's voice not already been slightly off from the cold she developed overworking herself the night before the Live, surely Maki or someone would have noticed the lump awkwardly bulging from their necks. When Honoka collapsed on stage with a high fever, Kotori wanted nothing more than to scream into her hands until her voice gave out. She'd seen her best friend take quite a few falls doing all manner of playground antics over the years, but the sight of seeing the girl she loved laying limp, cold, and weak as the storm mercilessly poured down on her was an image that would stick with Kotori for a very long time.

The only thing that would haunt her more was Honoka's heartbroken stumble when Umi stepped up to tell everyone what Kotori couldn't bring herself to. The way she limped over, eyes desperately seeking in confusion. Kotori wanted nothing else but to embrace her, to hold her and tell her to never let go. To heal that wound she caused, and feel the positive radiance of Honoka Kousaka return to those quivering shoulders. But she couldn't. She was too much of a coward, unable to even look Honoka in the eyes as she fumbled explaining herself. By accident, their eyes met for a moment, pained souls reaching out for the other. Her heart squeezed until it felt like it was about to shatter. Kotori's legs took flight, thoughts caught in a whirlwind of secrets she wished she could say. She barely remembers how long she ran, only coming to her senses while staring at one of the costumes she left at home, sitting on display by the closet.

Kotori shook her head again, grabbed her sketchbook, and cycled through several colored pencils before finding a shade she felt fit the overall scheme. Picking out a nice, poppy blue, her mind drifted off as she began to fill in a part of the dress.

 

* * *

 

Kotori and Nico had been sitting in the club room together after school, waiting for afternoon practice to start. Ever since Nico offered to lend her talents in mending and knitting to help with the group outfits, the two formed a mutual appreciation. Usually, this meant enjoying each others' company in comfortable silence. This afternoon was a little different. Kotori shuffled in her chair slightly as she felt Nico's glare off to her side. She turned to face the senior, whose brow was locked and lips pouted in disapproval.

"You know, you're a girl of too many secrets, Kotori." Nico scolded, tapping Kotori's ashen hair in a playfully concerned way. She herself was a bit of an enigma, jumping between three separate girls who were sharing the same body. Nico - the short-tempered Idol devotee. Nico - the personification of that obsession, complete with a smile on-demand and dozens of cute catchphrases. And Ni - the observant, warm caretaker to her friends and loved ones. Which one you got at any given time was almost as random as a gacha pull.

"Hmm?" Kotori stalled.

"Hah! Don't act all innocent! First, you get a job in Akihabara at a maid cafe without telling anyone. _Then_ , you end up as one of the street's star attractions under some name... Gretzky? Minxy? Whatever. Which we're also, like, _totally_  oblivious to. We thought we had you figured out after that, right?" Nico slumped back in her chair. "But noooOOoo, that's not enough for you. You already had a plane ticket to Paris before any of us even knew you were leaving!"

"Ah, yeah..."

"Did you ever think… that this might be a problem? Holding so much from everyone all of the time?"

Kotori got the good roll this day.

"Is it really wrong to have secrets, Nico?"

"Only if you're bad at keeping them."

"Er, well..." Nico _did_  have a point. It tripped Kotori up a little as she struggled to come up with a rebuttal. "Maybe I shouldn't be as careless next time?" She flashed a smile to her unimpressed senior, who leaned in towards her.

"Are you saying you learned your lesson?" There was a bit of venom in Nico's words, prodding with a hint of accusation.

"Y-yeah!" Kotori awkwardly laughed out. Nico's eyes narrowed as a slight smile began to tug at he far corner of her thin lips. Was it time for a re-roll already?

"Are you keeping something a secret _now?_ " Nico's smile curled into a more mischievous, Nozomi-like expression.

"No?"

_Yes._

Kotori knew how quickly the group would figure her out if even the faintest hint of her feelings for Honoka showed. She practiced suppressing her blush reflex in case any of them caught on. It wasn't the best line of defense, but she thought it may stall Nozomi at least, who had her magical tarot deck on hand even in the changing room. One mistake would be all it would take before her fate would be drawn and waved in front of the rest of µ's. While a far cry from Nozomi, Nico was still observant enough that Kotori knew she couldn't let her guard down. Nico's squinted stare was making the act really hard to keep up.

"Hmpf. Fine." Nico frowned. She jumped to her feet with an audible sigh. "Guess I can't make _everyone_  smile..." Kotori watched as the world's number one Idol headed for the club room door in faux defeat.

"Practice is in thirty minutes. Don't be late, or Umi will drag you to the roof by your hair ribbon again."

"I won't!" Kotori's warm smile was wasted on the third-year, who kept her back towards her as she slipped one last tease in before the club room door shut behind her.

"You've picked up some bad habits from Honoka, haven't you?"

**Author's Note:**

> To be continued! Poor Kotori... I was inspired by her inability to communicate in the final episodes of Season 1, wanting to elaborate a little on why she was so conflicted. I started work on this back in... October?? Kinda lost focus and forgot about it for a while. Instead of waiting to finish the whole thing, I decided to post some of the earlier parts, just to see how people like it. Who knows? Maybe I'll get inspired enough to finish it! Bless this birb. Thank you for reading so far. <3


End file.
